In this blog I was originally going to tell you about this article from the Des Moines Register newspaper about proposed legislation giving the deceased the right to control their final disposition. Most people don’t realize that in several states one can determine who gets their kids, money, property, insurance proceeds, etc. but they can’t determine, even with a pre-need funeral policy, what their final disposition will be. A person can purchase a pre-need arrangement for a cremation, but after the death occurs, the next of kin can say, “I don’t like cremation, she’s going to be buried.” And guess what? She will be buried, not cremated as she wished. Several states including Colorado have already passed a similar bill to the Iowa proposed legislation.

But I changed my mind, that’s not what you really need to know about the article. I’ve noticed a disturbing pattern with on-line end of life articles, including this one. People can post comments regarding the content of the article. What I’m seeing over and over again, are a consumer and an end of life professional having it out, back and forth, arguing what one said isn’t true, practically attacking each other. How is that helping end of life professionals? As soon as I read, “I’m a funeral director…” or “I’m a hospice nurse….” I think, “Here we go again….” I understand that people want to defend themselves and their profession when attacked, but it only makes them and their profession look worse. As I keep reading through the comments, there is inevitably another consumer, just as in this article, that says, “Hey, I’ve made funeral arrangements in several different towns and states and have always been treated respectfully by the funeral director.”

A newspaper is a public forum, let the public make their comments and let one consumer disagree with another. The lesson, if you have done your job well, served your family with total commitment and professionalism, then you don’t have to defend yourself or your profession, your families will defend it for you. And how much more powerful is it to the public when it comes from them and not you!