While taking a look at the great history of human civilization, it is apparent that mourning the dead has been repeatedly expressed through ceremonies with the body of the departed present.  There is a myriad of examples throughout our existence across all cultures and walks of life from the funeral ceremonies of the ancient Egyptians to the modern day Roman Catholic funeral rite.   It cannot be denied that we as humans must have a method of embracing and understanding the severe emotional turmoil that comes along with permanently parting with friends, family and loved ones.  For many of us, seeing the body of someone we must say goodbye to offers comfort, support and closure at a time when we are very vulnerable.

    In recent times (or the information age as it is sometimes referred to), society has shifted to a faster-paced, more complicated environment that has proven to be much more impersonal than life was perhaps one hundred years ago.  Along with the industrial revolution came the ability to live in much smaller family units (nuclear family is the sociological term for a household containing only one mother, one father and their unmarried children).  The need to raise and live with a large family (extended family) went by the wayside for a large portion of the population, especially those in an urban setting.  With farm life being foreign to such a large number of people, many of us began to depend upon others for basic survival needs.  The most notable for the purpose of this discussion is the need to care for our elderly and sick.  The absence of death in the home grew as a direct result of the incapability of the nuclear family to be a direct part of the dying process.  More often than not, elderly people die in hospitals and nursing homes in this country.  In many instances, this gradually led to estrangement with death, leaving people uneducated and confused about how to go about ritualizing their grief.  The segregated lifestyle that many Americans lead today contributes greatly to the staggering depreciation of the funeral ceremony.  Due to our faced-paced lifestyle and our increasingly large emotional distance from those around us, it is not uncommon to have never been familiar with any kind of significant cultural tradition when it comes to dealing with death.  This is a far cry from a funeral that was set in, say, 1890.  It was very common during that time to have the body lying in state for as much as a week to adequately pay last respects.  Perhaps embracing death was much less taboo in that time due to it being a much larger aspect of everyday life.  Instead of happening in a sterile white room behind thick walls and locked doors, death was in the home, on the street and would come in fulminate was due to a plague or drought.  Since many people are very inexperienced with the dying process these days, they often see viewing a dead body as dark, disturbing and morbid.  This can leave one at a great loss when it comes to planning a funeral.   It seems that many of us have come to accept death as a surreal aspect of life, and when we must deal with losing someone close, we suppress our need to embrace grief.  I believe this change in lifestyle over the last several generations has led to a greater tendency for direct disposition of human remains with no funeral service.

    Considering the position of the modern day funeral director, viewing the remains can be a pretty touchy subject depending on the family he or she is serving.  Extremely effective communication must be utilized in order to gain the understanding of someone who may be unfamiliar with the situation.  Above all, I find it important to stress the fact that many people find closure and comfort through the viewing of the body.  I would explain to the family during our arrangement conference that a visitation is a tried and true way to help many people process the loss. Offering comfort for a family could include describing prior experiences of other families who benefited from a formal visitation and considered it a meaningful and helpful experience.  While I do realize that viewing the body may not be for everyone (no one should ever, under any circumstances be forced to do so), I also see how there are several ways a formal viewing can help to ease the suffering of a loss. This can be accomplished through showing a family their loved one is not in pain, is not struggling and is in fact, quite peaceful.  Often times, this person may look better than they have in years after they are properly cared for by a professional embalmer.  This possibility is especially relevant when death came due to terminal illness or severe injury.  Seeing a loved one look themselves after they have been struggling for any period of time would most likely be a great relief for any mourning family.   Support from others can also provide much solace for the grieving during the viewing.  Saying goodbye together can build strength among family bonds, and in turn make a stable foundation to heal upon over time from the loss.  Above all, it is imperative to listen to the concerns of the family, and ensure their specific needs are met.  If they are still opposed to having a viewing after the benefits of the ritual are thoroughly explained and discussed, then those wishes are to be respected without question.

    The care that is taken by a funeral director to properly serve a family with dignity and respect should always be top priority.  This means that all aspects of the funeral including the visitation should be carefully explained and discussed.  The best way to break apprehension when dealing with the unknown is to communicate effectively at all times.  This profession calls for compassionate people who wish to educate those they serve.

Scholarship Winner, Spring 2008

Nico Pratt